How I feel about Drugs and Alcohol Day 20 of 30 Days of Truth...

Day 20 My view on drugs or alcohol. I have had some very serious up close and personal experiences with both drugs and alcohol. My 1st husband was an alcoholic and it led to his death by suicide. His suicide led to both of our children becoming addicted to some very bad drugs. There was a time in my life when I was looking in mall bathrooms and banging on the doors of drug dealers looking for my son. There were times I prayed for him to be arrested. I worked closely with the Strike Force to catch him in the act, when it finally happened it was so heartbreaking. He felt betrayed, I felt relieved. He was sentenced to Drug Court and it saved his life. When my daughter started her adventure with drugs she knew enough from seeing what her brother had been through that she needed help. I am so thankful she came to me and asked me to get her help. Today both of my kids are amazing, they are amazing parents, amazing workers and most important amazing members of society.

Until later,
Hugs,
Shelly

30 days continuing...

Day 14- A hero that let me down. I have seriously pondered this and I don't have a hero that has let me down. Sorry.

Day 15- Someone or something I can't live without- everyone in my family. I can't live without my hubster, my kids, my grandies, my brothers and thier families or my parents. Don't ask me to, cuz I just can't it aint happening.

Day 16- Someone or something I can live without- Sugar, I quit eating candy, cake, cookies and Icecream about a month ago. I thought I wouldn't be able to do it but it has been really easy and I have lost 15 lbs. since I quit. I am really kind amazed at how easy this has been.

Day 17- Book that has made an impact in my life Book of Mormon for obvious reasons.

Day 18- Views on Gay Marriage- I am one of those people that really feels like what people do behind thier own doors is none of my business. I think people are born gay and should have that right but I don't want to see anyone gay or straight showing to much affection in public.

Day 19- What are my feelings on religion or politics. I think everyone has a right to believe anything they want to. I believe most religions are good
and I would never try force anyone to believe the way I do. With politics I work very close to it and alot times I just get mad! haha!

Until later,
Hugs,
Shelly

I am so in a funk...

So obviously you can tell by the lack of me posing at all lately I am in an end of summer funk! Don't get me wrong, I love the Fall Season but I feel like I was a little bit jipped by the short length of Summer this year. Well to myself I say "Self Buck-up, it is what it is so get with it!" First of all we have the matter of the 30 Days of Truth so I am going to finish that, I may do 3 days in one post or I may not do any days in a post but I am going to get it done. So with that being said...I will begin with Day 11- Something I am complimented on- I thing with this one I will go with that I am a really positive person and almost always I am happy-go-lucky, so I am comfortable to be around.
Day 12 - Something I am never complimented on - My math skills, I totally suck at math! Seriously, I am embarrassed to say I scored a 9 on my SAT's.
Day 13- Letter to a band or artist who helped me through a very tough time in my life- Dear Shania, You have no idea how much you helped my through a very difficult time in my life, your music enspired me to move forward after my divorce. Some of the words to your songs were exactly what I was going through at that time. Other songs were so upbeat that I wanted to move forward so I could feel positive again and know that I was making the right choices. It has been 13 years ago that I went through this and I have to thank you because I am now happier than I ever thought possible.


Until later,
Hugs,
Shelly

Day 10....

Someone I need to let go of, or wish I didn't know.
Okay there is someone and I want to be truthful but to save so much trouble I won't mention a name. I will just say that this person is evil and has caused a lot of pain to just about every person they know, their entire family avoids them. I will say that I am sure mental illness is involved. This person can be so hurtful that people are actually afraid of them.

On a much happier note, grandie #10 is being born today!! I am so excited! I will be posting pictures tomorrow!

Until later,
Hugs,
Shelly

Day 9, Someone who drifted away...

Someone who drifted away. This one is easy. I met Julie when she answered an add I had out to babysit. She showed up to my house with this adorable but filthy dirty little girl. She had just picked her up from her current sitter and she hadn't had her diaper changed or her face washed for the entire day. So sad :( Well we hit it off and I started babysitting Cassie the very next day! Julie quickly became my best friend and Cassie became one of my kids than Julie had another daughter. I adored them all. Julie and I went through so much together, its crazy to think back on it. I helped her to leave her abusive ex-husband. Then a few years later she opened her home to me while I was going through my divorce. She was and still is the funniest person I have ever met, she has a very quick wit! There were days that my stomach muscles hurt so bad from the laughing the night before. After awhile we both got remarried. She ended up leaving her second husband though, again an abuser. One day I called her and she didn't answer. I kept calling and calling, still no answer. I went to her apartment and she was gone. I was worried, angry and stressed. I had no idea what had happened to her. I felt so betrayed. I felt like I was the most stable thing in her life and she abandoned me. Around Christmas time that year I got a letter, it was one of those general family letters that basically just says we had a great year everyone is wonderful, you know, one of those letters. So at least I knew they were alive and okay. So about two years later I am in one of my bosses office at work and I came walking out and there sitting at my dest was Julie, Cassie and Kami. I literally nearly fainted. I started crying and trembling. I honestly don't know if I was happy or mad. If I wanted to hug her or hit her. When I asked her where she went, she said she took her girls and ran to get away from her abusive first ex-husband. She ran to Alaska!! She said she didn't tell me because she didn't want me to have to lie to him or the police if they questioned me. Her reasoning didn't change the way I felt. I still felt so betrayed. She now lives in New Hampshire and I don't talk much to her. I am over the hurt and I still love her and adore her girls, especially Cassie, I practically raised her for 9 years, but our friendship really isn't the same and never will be. I have never had another friend that close and honestly I think it is because I was so hurt by Julie that I don't completely trust that something like this wouldn't happen again.

Until later,
Hugs,
Shelly

Day 8 Someone who made your life horrible...

Someone who made my life unbearable, hmmm, this one takes me back. When I was in highschool I was a class officer and on the Dance team and had alot of friends. However, my boyfriend who was a jock could also be a jerk. He treated people badly. So some of the girl jocks took it out on me. They made fun of me in gym (I really think that it just bugged them because I could do more pull-ups and lift heavier weights, haha) they yelled mean things at me walking through the halls. Pretty much they bullied me. It. Was. Awful. It got bad enough that I went from a girl who was very active and loved school to a girl who just wanted to stay home and hide. Most of the girls were a year older so when they graduated it kind of just faded away. It difinetly gave me perspective on bullies though, so that when I raised my kids I knew how to deal with it. Bullying is never okay, as we see in the news nearly every day, it does impact lives. Some kids just can't deal with it and take thier own lives. Parents need to teach thier kids to treat everyone with respect and also to stand tall. Noone should ever have to live in fear of a bully.

Until later,
Hugs,
Shelly

Day 7 - Someone who has made my life worth living...

Day 7 - Someone who has made my life worth livig - Wow, I have been so lucky in this aspect. I have so many wonderful people that make my life a joy, of course the hubster, my grandies and all my amazing friends. However, the first thing that came to my mind when I read this question was a time in my life when I was very sick. I was 24 weeks pregnant with my third baby (back then babies born that early very rarely survived). My stomach became very hard and painful so I went to the hospital to find out that I had something call Abruptio Placenta. When the doctor told me that they had to take the baby now or I may not make it, the first thing that came to my mind were my two kids that I already had and how awful it would be to miss them growing up for both them and myself. I knew I had to live for them. They have both made my life unbelievable, I am so thankful that I have been given such great gifts in the two of them. I am truly the luckiest mom in the world.

Until later,
Hugs,
Shelly

Day 6...

Something I hope I never have to do in my life. This one is so simple. I hope I never have to bury my hubster or one of my children. I had a stillborn baby girl many years ago and every once in awhile it still hits me. If I am watching something on T.V. or reading somethng it could be a trigger and I begin sobbing completely unexpectedly. I feel so sorry for friends of mine who have lost loved ones and I really just don't know how they move forward. I admire thier strength but I really don't think that I have it.

Until later,
Hugs,
Shelly